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Host a Festivus Feast with these Seinfeld-Inspired Recipes

If you’re looking to celebrate the holiday season in your restaurant but don’t want to exclude any religions, we’ve got the perfect holiday for you: Festivus! This fictional holiday, which doesn’t have any religious background, was created by Frank Costanza, a character from the 90’s sitcom Seinfeld. “A Festivus for the rest of us!” Just like any other holiday, Festivus brings together loved ones to partake in various traditions, like airing grievances and performing feats of strength. While we don’t recommend your guests participate in those traditions, we do encourage you to celebrate Festivus by adding these Seinfeld-inspired appetizers, entrees, and desserts to your menu.

1. Festivus Pretzel Recipe

After Kramer accidentally runs into director Woody Allen, he lands a speaking role in his upcoming movie. His line? “These pretzels are making me thirsty!” While this may seem like something that anyone would say after eating this salty snack, the gang spends most of the episode helping Kramer figure out how he should deliver his line. Increase drink sales in your restaurant by adding this salty pretzel recipe from AllRecipes to your menu:

Ingredients:

  • 4 tsp. active dry yeast
  • 1 tsp. sugar
  • 1 1/4 cups warm water
  • 5 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 1/2 tsp. salt
  • 1 tbsp. vegetable oil
  • 1/2 cup baking soda
  • Pretzel salt

Equipment you will need: countertop mixer, non-stick sauce pan, and sheet pan

2. Festivus Soup Recipe

Whether you’re a Seinfeld fan or not, there’s a good chance you’ve heard someone use the term “Soup Nazi” or the famous line (often said with an accent) “No soup for you!” This comes from the iconic episode where Jerry, George, and Elaine visit a new soup stand where the owner is known for his stormy temperament and strict ordering rules. We don’t advise that you serve soup in the same way as this “beloved” character, but we do suggest adding this delicious New England Clam Chowder recipe from Epicurious to your menu:

Ingredients:

  • (3) 8 oz. bottles clam juice
  • 1 lb. russet potatoes
  • 2 tbsp. butter
  • 3 slices of bacon
  • 2 cups chopped onions
  • 1 1/4 cups chopped celery
  • 2 garlic cloves
  • 1 bay leaf
  • 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
  • (6) 6 1/2 oz. cans chopped clams
  • 1 1/4 cups half and half
  • 1 tsp. hot pepper sauce

Equipment you will need: stainless steel sauce pan and copper sauce pot

3. "The Big Salad" Recipe

Besides men with lucrative jobs, there’s nothing Elaine enjoys quite as much as a big salad. What is the big salad? Well, Jerry would tell you that it has “big lettuce, big carrots, [and] tomatoes like volleyballs,” but it’s never made clear what really makes up a big salad. Since the ingredients to this classic Seinfeld dish are vague, you’re welcome to put your own twist on it, but we recommend this recipe from Chowhound:

Ingredients:

  • 10 oz. butter lettuce
  • 1 1/2 cups pear tomatoes
  • 2 medium carrots
  • 1/2 medium cucumber
  • 1 cup radishes
  • Herbed buttermilk dressing

Equipment you will need: wooden spoon and glass mixing bowl

4. Festivus Meatloaf Recipe

While it isn’t discussed in the episode, meatloaf appears to be the only dish served at the Festivus celebration. This usually happens right around the time of the airing of grievances. In order to avoid any fights among family and friends in your restaurant, you should probably skip over that part and jump ahead to serving your customers slices of tasty meatloaf. If you’re looking for a twist on traditional meatloaf, check out this recipe from Pioneer Settler:

Ingredients:

  • 2 lbs. ground beef
  • 1/2 green pepper
  • 1/2 medium onion
  • 2 cloves garlic
  • 2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
  • 1/2 tsp. salt
  • 1/2 tsp. pepper
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 cup oats
  • 1/3 cup ketchup
  • 7-10 slices of bacon
  • 2 tbsp. spicy brown sugar

Equipment you will need: loaf pan and stainless steel mixing bowl

5. Beef-a-reeno Recipe

“I’m so keen-o on beef-a-reeno, what a delicious cuisine-o, fit for a king and queen-o!” Even though this jingle made a brief appearance in only one episode, it left its mark on Seinfeld fans. But, that probably has something to do with the fact that Kramer is feeding “beef-a-reeno” out of a can to a horse in the park. Like many of the other Seinfeld-inspired recipes, it’s a little up in the air as to exactly what is in this dish, but this recipe from Mostly Homemade Mom should do:

Ingredients:

  • 16 oz. elbow macaroni
  • 1 lb. ground beef
  • (2) 15 oz. cans tomato sauce
  • 2 tsp. dried onion
  • 1 tsp. basil
  • 1 tsp. thyme
  • 1 tsp. oregano
  • 1/2 tsp. kosher salt
  • 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

Equipment you will need: aluminum sauce pot and cast iron skillet

6. Eclair Recipe

And for dessert, a chocolate eclair. Where does this dessert option come from? Well, during a dinner with his girlfriend’s family, George wandered into the kitchen where he found a chocolate eclair with one bite out of it…sitting on top of a pile of trash. While some people would acknowledge it and think, “what a shame,” George decided to eat it. Unfortunately for him, his girlfriend’s mother walked in and caught him. Try this eclair recipe from Saveur, but don't serve them on top of trash:

Ingredients for Pastry:

  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 8 tbsp. unsalted butter
  • 1/2 tsp. kosher salt
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 4 eggs

Ingredients for Filling and Icing:

  • 1 batch pastry cream
  • 2 cups confectioners' sugar
  • 2 tbsp. cocoa powder
  • 1/2 tsp. unsalted butter
  • 1/4 tsp. vanilla extract

Equipment you will need: copper sauce pan and pastry bag


This holiday season, put away the tinsel, because Frank finds it “distracting,” and bust out your aluminum pole, because it’s time to celebrate Festivus! Whether your guests are Seinfeld fans or not, they’re sure to enjoy these delicious recipes. Happy Festivus!

Posted in: Holidays | By Emily Hepner
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